Some Random Thoughts on "Turning Red"

 So Friday was the day that "Turning Red" came out on Disney+ (and in some very limited theaters). You may have heard about some early reviews complaining about it - mainly with some pretty racist overtones. Which was NOT fair at all - yes, it's directly the story of a Chinese-Canadian girl, Meilin Lee and a very specific curse the women in her family have, but on a deeper level it's about anyone who's gone through finding themselves as someone different to who they always thought they were.

Seriously - who didn't have an awkward time in puberty when suddenly they've got hair where they didn't, their body is changing in ways they didn't get, they smell different than they used to. Who didn't have that rebelling against what your parents' expectations of you were, branching out from the person you'd always been as a child to find yourself? 

I know I definitely did! Oh, I may not have rebelled as drastically as some did, but I did in my own way. And while it may not have been public (ok, let's take away the times I was a sermon illustration...), I very specifically remember my dad's remark when he picked me up after dance class the day I got my period. CRINGE!!! (Oh yeah...while that is NOT what "Turning Red" is about, there is discussion of it in a way, so just be prepared. I'm not spoiling anything by saying that.)

What Meilin does in the movie is learn to embrace her panda - to be unapologetically herself, even if that means not being the perfect girl she's always been. And who hasn't gone through that - regardless of what race you are.

But on another level, and I'll admit this is some personal bias on my part, I think that it can be an allegorical way for LGBTQIA+ kids to see themselves as well. Something which is especially vital right now with all the anti-LGBTQIA+ laws being discussed and put into play.

Looking back at my early life, all of the signs that I was a lesbian were there - but I didn't have the words or the models to even have a clue. I just knew I was much more interested in Athena and Casseopia than Apollo and Starbuck when I watched Battlestar Galactica (the early version); I was much more interested in Jamie Sommers than Steve Austin. And not just as a role model. And so forth and so on.

Of course, by the time I got to junior high I already had what I saw as enough strikes against me - I was fat, I was a "preacher's kid" (not officially, but my dad worked in the church), I was a band geek, and an academic nerd. I may not have had the words for what I felt, but I knew I didn't feel it for boys - and I knew that was NOT something I wanted known. So I learned to ape the other girls - they put pictures of Ricky Schroder and/or Duran Duran in their lockers, I did the same. I would talk about boys like the other girls did. But really none of it mattered - I was the target of bullies and remained so throughout junior high and high school, which just made me shut down.

I wish I had had Meilin's courage when I was 13 - heck, even when I was 18. By the time I got to college I had so completely shut down that part of myself I didn't really let myself feel anything - even if there were girls I had crushes on. 

As it turns out, I'm one of the lucky ones and my family loves and accepts me for who I am and who I was created to be.

I know there are far too many LGBTQIA+ kids out there who don't have that kind of support, who probably feel very much like Meilin does - torn between being who their parents expect them to be and who they really are. Kids who are having to make the choice to get rid of their panda and remain who they feel expected to be or embrace their panda and be who they are. 

One thing Meilin has going for her is her girl gang - her friends who support her (sometimes maybe a bit much and push her to go to extremes) and accept her for who she is, pandaness and all. It's my fervent wish that all LGBTQIA+ kids have their own friend gang who supports them and loves them for who they are. Well, that ALL kids will have that.

Because the truth is, we all have a panda inside of us, 

And those pandas deserve ALL the hugs!!